I had three interviews for three jobs in three different towns/cities in Korea. My first interview was one for a hogwan in a rural town in the northeastern portion of South Korea. The interview went as well as it could have, and I was offered the job.
I believe when God opens doors for people, he makes the circumstances perfect, and on the surface they certainly appeared that way, which was why I felt sort of an internal pressure in my own mind to accept it. I am extremely intuitive, and most of my major decisions are based on my intuition, and for some unexplainable reason, accepting the job in that rural town simply didn't "feel right." It was a gut feeling, and this particular feeling seemed so ominous that it gave me a pit in my stomach. I am not saying that rural jobs are inferior, because I have friends that work in rural areas who have had wonderful experiences. It simply didn't feel like the right thing to do for me.
A personal rule that I have for myself is to never make major decisions in haste. A required immediate decision, for me, will always be a "no." I always allow for at least one night of sleep before coming to a final decision, and in this particular instance, I did so hoping that I would feel better about accepting, and I didn't. The internal pressure to take that job became stronger, and at the same time, so did the pit in my stomach. I decided to sleep on it for another night, and as I fell asleep, I had a dream. It contained nothing visual, as it was merely a voice that spoke to me, and it said, "It's okay to wait for something different."
Upon awakening, I felt better. I immediately emailed Dan Henrickson, my recruiter, to inform him that I would not be accepting the job.
I don't know what would have happened had I decided to take the job in that small town. It probably would have been a good experience, but I know it wouldn't have been as good as my current situation, which is perfect, so therefore, I have no regrets. I have a feeling that I belong here in Gwangju, and nothing beats having that satisfaction and contentment. My city and my job have been a source of immense blessing.
As I stated earlier, I prefer not to think too deeply into the meaning of the dreams that I have, but some of them can be so vivid, emotional, and memorable that I can't help but think about them. Upon merely making the decision to pursue jobs teaching English in either Korea or Japan, before starting a blog, and even before beginning the process of looking for jobs, I had one such dream on the couch of my parents' home in Louisiana. It was so vivid that soon after, I felt compelled to write about it. And this is what I wrote:
On a random night, I fell asleep on the couch at around 7pm. It wasn't a deep sleep, but it was one that was deep enough for me to dream. And in that dream, I saw her. There was no mistaking her. She was Asian, attractive, and in her early to mid twenties. She wore her hair down. It was long, well kept, and black. She had the eyes, facial structure, and skin tone that is unique only to women of that race. She was tall and slim with the feminine build of a model. She was wearing a green t-shirt, and was standing in a green field. The grass was long, and above her waist, but I knew she was wearing jeans.
And then I looked closer, and I noticed her mouth, her nose, her facial expressions, and her mannerisms. They were also mine. She had managed to possess all of my quirks to go along with all of her beauty. There was no mistaking her. She was my daughter. And the love that I began to feel for her was unmistakeable, and unexplainable. She looked into my eyes, and it was as if I were looking into a mirror, and I immediately felt all the emotions, both good and bad, that she felt towards me. And then I immediately awoke.
It was such a powerful dream that I began to weep upon awakening. Again, through experience, I have become one who doesn't think too deeply into them, but dreams like this particular one do nothing but compel me to ponder the possibilities. This particular dream happened so long ago, and the reason I write about it is that I have never forgotten it, and for some reason, lately, I have found myself thinking about it more frequently. So much so, that I've felt compelled to share it. It could be prophetic, or it could mean absolutely nothing. I guess we'll eventually find out with certainty.
I've had dreams, such as the first one, that give clear instructions. I've also had ones, like the second one, that were merely visions that left me dumbfounded, and sometimes hoping. I've also had some that have left me feeling like a fool. It says in the bible that God spoke to Jacob and Joseph, the father of Jesus, in dreams, so obviously some have merit. I find myself relying on my intuition and experience in discerning which are worth following, and which aren't. It can be difficult.