The Surreal

Merriam-Webster defines the word, surreal, as "marked by the intense irrational reality of a dream; also: unbelievable, fantastic."  Last Friday, I flew back to America, and to say that this week has been filled with a whirlwind of emotion would be quite an understatement.  I said my goodbyes to my school, my friends, my church, and the city of Gwangju.  Many of the events have been, no doubt, surreal.

My contract ended on April 25, just in time to fly into Los Angeles on April 26 to make it to the wedding of one of my best friends, Matt.  The wedding was at a small, but gorgeous church on sort of a cliff, overlooking the southern California pacific coast.  The architecture of the church was Spanish.  It was marked by traditional white Spanish stucco, and a red tile roof.  It is my favorite style of architecture, and I hope that maybe my house will one day be built in that manner.

From that spot, we were able to see almost all of Los Angeles, and where the Pacific ocean begins.  And the wedding commenced late in the afternoon as the sun was beginning to set, my favorite part of the day.  The windows of this church were large, and fully displayed the amazing view of the city and the coast.  The weather in Los Angeles, apparently, is always perfect, and this day was no different.  It was surreal

Matt's bride was Indian, and she was given sort of a traditional Indian style wedding, as the dresses of the bridesmaids, and the bride were uniquely Indian, colorful, and stunningly gorgeous.  I am one who admires well-kept traditions.  And at a wedding, regarding bridesmaids, I had never seen a set of dresses that were more beautiful.

The bride's dress was also uniquely and traditionally Indian, and white.  It was refreshingly modest.  She was absolutely stunning, and to say that the ceremony was beautiful wouldn't give it justice.  I was blessed to be a part of it.  It was surreal.

Another great thing that made the wedding special was seeing numerous old friends.  I haven't had a drink in over five years, and I have come to find out that another one of my friends, Adam, stopped drinking also.

The reception was at a place that was further up the hill from the church, so from the porch of the reception hall, you could see even more of the city of Los Angeles and the Pacific Ocean.  And by the time the reception was in full swing the sun had fully set, so the view of the city was an endless field of lights as far as the eye could see.  It was surreal.

Adam and I had a moment, as we talked about the surreality of the view and the weekend.  Many of my friends still drink.  Some of them even still smoke marijuana.  And Adam said something that made me think.  He said, "I don't think that most of our friends in that reception hall who are all either drunk, stoned, or both can fully realize how surreal this moment is."

He continued,  "I've come to appreciate surreal moments such as this.  They make you feel alive.  I'm glad I quit drinking, because you can fully appreciate them in a way that you can't when you are not sober."

This week has been filled and overflowing with surreal moments.  Beginning last Sunday, I broke down, as I got up in front of my church to tell them good bye.  I also broke down when I told some of my favorite classes filled with children that I've grown to truly love that I may never see them again.  Several of my students wrote me letters in broken English explaining that they will miss me, and that they hope I have a good time in America.  My girlfriend and I broke up.  On my last day of work, I broke down as I took off my lab coat, said goodbye to the woman who helps us foreign teachers at my school, Mrs. Ahn, and my principle, Mr. Ryu, and stepped into that elevator leaving work for the last time.  The week was filled with surreality.

I've made it no secret that I am moving to Seoul.  One of my recruiters squeezed in two interviews in the morning before my flights, because it didn't take off until 6:50pm.  One of them was short, and by the book.  The other one was rather in depth, and I could tell that the director of this school was rather thorough.  She asked me a question about my teaching style.  I began to explain my style to her, which is to love my students first and foremost.  I continued by mentioning that I may never see many of my kids from my old school again.  And as I went on to explain how I really hoped that my students will remember me as a good teacher, I broke down yet again.  It was a surreal moment.  Luckily, both the people who were conducting the interview were women around whom I felt comfortable.

Many of you may think that I am this big "softie," and that may be the case, but all these moments were filled such emotion, and that interview happened when all of those surreal moments were so fresh in my mind.  I couldn't help it.  I don't think I've ever cried this much in one week.

I thank God for these surreal moments, and I don't believe I am being selfish in asking for many more.  As Adam explained, these surreal moments make us feel alive.  They enable us to appreciate life.  Luckily, Jesus says in the Bible, "Ask and you will receive.  Seek and you will find.  Knock and the door will be opened."  I believe God wants us to appreciate the life he gives us, and when we recognize that we are alive in these moments, we are able to more clearly see his work in our lives, and in our environments.

These surreal moments are all around us.  They don't have to always be on top of the hill in the sunset on Redondo Beach overlooking the city.  They can be every day moments in life.  The key to seeing them is to live life with a positive mindset, and a thankful heart.  Cynicism and a complaining mentality are two things that truly blind and numb a person to them.

I pray for more of them.  And my prayer is that you would experience them also.  God bless all of you.

Thoughts on PSY's "Gentleman"

I'll be honest with you.  I can't stop listening to PSY's new song, "Gentleman."  This morning while getting ready for work, I must have replayed that youtube video at least ten times in a row, and I found myself imitating him while shaking my hips in the privacy of my apartment.  There is no doubt that his music has a certain hypnotic quality that lots of great songs have.

I heard it for the first time last Sunday, and my immediate reaction was that whatever "it" is, PSY has it.  By "it," I am referring to that certain intangible unidentifiable quality that makes a person beyond great at what they do.  And when a person has "it" everything he/she does seems to "turn to gold."  I've been drawn to this video, more so than "Gangnam Style," ever since my first viewing.

I am one who looks at anything that goes viral with skepticism, and "Gangnam Style" was no different.  I was probably one of the last people in the world to deliberately and actively enter those key words on the search bar of youtube.com and view the video in it's entirety, and enjoy it.  There's no doubt that it's a cool song, and I was intentionally late in realizing that.

My opinions of PSY were based solely on my cynicism, and my artistic elitist fear of becoming a follower.  It's rather sad that that is what prevented me from simply enjoying something that is worthy of being enjoyed.  So upon my realization of his new release, I immediately went to Youtube, and checked out the song.   

I'm not fluent enough in Korean to know exactly what the words mean, but the video makes an obvious strong statement.  And that being that lots of men hold fast to obvious strong inhibitions when they are around attractive women, and in this video, PSY is rebelling against those very inhibitions.

I've heard accusations of the video being sexist, and I find that to be laughable.  It's so ridiculous that certain Americans try to inject their cancerous political correctness into anything they deem offensive.  Everything on this planet is offensive to somebody.  Americans just need to lighten up, have fun, and stop being little children who get offended over everything they perceive as negative.

Anyway, If the video for "Gentleman" is sexist, than it is just as sexist on the part of certain attractive women to expect a man to fawn over their every desire, and to expect the man to readily submit to their standards and desires without the man knowing who she actually is as a person.  Men are just as much at fault for this as women, and PSY is heroically rebelling and breaking through these inhibitions that women, many times, expect the man who is pursuing them to hold.  

As a man from the south, I am fairly familiar with chivalry.  When walking in a building or room at the same time as a lady, I usually attempt to be the one to open the door, and allow her to enter first.  I usually try to offer my arm while walking down a set of stairs with a lady.  I've offered my coat when l've heard ladies mention that they were cold.  It's a great feeling when a lady actually appreciates it, and it is a totally different feeling when she is unappreciative, and carries an ungrateful demeanor that expects such behavior.

Korea is a place that, no doubt, has an abundance of attractive ladies.  I will take it a step further in saying that there is an abundance of women who put a strong effort into maximizing their personal appearance, and I love that.  I wish more Americans applied the same effort, but unfortunately and obviously, a significantly smaller percentage do.  But nothing makes an attractive woman look more unattractive than arrogance, haughtiness, and a sense of entitlement based solely on her personal appearance, and that is the message that this video is conveying.

I'm not saying that I agree with everything that PSY is doing in this video, because there are things that he does that are downright degrading, but that is what rock n' rollers do.  They push the edge in order to maximize the shock value.  But I do agree with his message, and that is that the inhibitions that a man holds shouldn't be based on the expectations of the attractive woman that he is currently pursuing, because different women expect different things.  A man's inhibitions should be based on his personal values, belief systems, and the convictions he feels deep within his own heart.

I like PSY, and he is showing his true colors as a true artist in this video.  Although he doesn't play the guitar, although his music is electronic, and although he isn't from the west, his music and style is rock n' roll to the core.  Just like Elvis, The Rolling Stones, Guns n' Roses, and Nirvana, he is rebellious.  He is sexual.  He does things on his terms, and he doesn't seem to be a puppet for the record companies like most other artists.  And with the video and song, "Gentleman," he has shown that he is good at what he does, and that he has staying power.  I wasn't a fan when he put out "Gangnam Style," but now I am.

Dating in Korea

I realize that many of you who read my blog are people who are one or more of the following:  you are preparing to move to Korea; you are half korean, or want to know more about us halfies; you are somebody who is interested Korean culture; or you may be a friend of mine, or family member.  So the main reason you are reading this blog is for the information.  As a resident of Korea for almost two years now, I feel I can possibly shed some light on a subject that is of interest to everybody:  the dating culture in Korea.  

Please keep in mind that my knowledge is limited to Gwangju, a city roughly the size of Philadelphia.  I've only dated women from there, and the ladies that I have dated all live within the same general area of the city.  Although they were all Korean, there may be differences in how women from different cities may act, and there may be differences in how people from different parts of a particular city may act.  Numerous other factors may have made my experiences unique.  

Gwangju is a large city, and Korea is a highly populated country with numerous cities, many of them being larger than Gwangju, so these are merely observations from my experience, and are not to be taken as facts or universal truths.  

Another thing I would like for you to keep in mind is that I am a one-woman man.  I am not into "hook-ups."  I prefer not to go to bars or clubs.  I met my current girlfriend through a mutual friend that I go to church with, and we agreed to go on a blind date.  These observations are regarding the pursuit of a long-term relationship, and these may not stand when pursuing a "hook-up," as a culture exists where that obviously happens, but I prefer to not be a part of that.  With that in mind, I hope you find this to be informative.    

1.  If a Korean lady is single, chances are she lives with her parents, and they are usually more strict than western parents.  It is quite normal for an upper 20's single young professional Korean lady to be living with her mother and father, and usually she will have a curfew.  From my experience, it is not uncommon for it to be before 12.  How the lady deals with these circumstances depends solely on the individual.  

The first girl I dated, Tae Hee, would wait until her parents fell asleep, and then she would sneak out to meet me, because I worked nights, and I finished late.  Her parents had no idea that she was dating me.  The second girl I dated, had parents who sort of trusted her, so she simply told her mother where she was and who she was with, and she was usually fine with what she was doing.  Her father, on the other hand, did not know about me.  My current girlfriend, will not cross her mother under any circumstances.  I respect that, and we make the most out of the predicament.

My advice is that if you intend to be serious with your Korean girlfriend, respect the wishes of her parents.  It may be difficult, but at the same time, you must be a source of comfort, and not a source of stress.  Korean ladies already have lots to deal with, and it may come from their schooling, or their job, as they usually work such long hours by western standards.  A man who constantly works to undermine authority figures in a lady's life does nothing but bring unnecessary stress on top of that which she already has, and any reasonable woman would not want that.  Women prefer a man who makes their lives easier, and brings them comfort, and not one who complicates things.

2.  It might take you a significant amount of time for you to win a Korean lady's trust.  The first two ladies that I dated, upon initially realizing that there was potential for a relationship, gave me the same talk.  "Chrisu, I know that American man think Korean girl is easy…"  And it's not because of only that.  It's a combination of many things.  

Korean ladies are aware of the fact that westerners sign contracts in one-year increments.  They are also aware of the fact that most of them return to their respective countries once that contract is fulfilled.  If they are mature and of high character, a quality not uncommon among the Korean women that I've come across, long term possibilities will certainly be taken into account, and it will be difficult for them to trust and enter into a relationship with a man who they know will leave.  And if you expect her to move home with you, Korean society has become rather comfortable and advanced, and it is difficult for anybody to leave everything they know and are accustomed to for the unknown.   

Another inhibiting factor is the fact that she will probably be worried to some extent about how other Koreans will perceive her when she is seen in public with a western man.  I've read before that Korea is one of the most homogeneous societies in the world, and in a place where most of the people share the same hair color, eye color, and skin tone, and also in a society where "image is everything," she will be concerned with how others will perceive her when she is seen in public holding the hand of a man who dresses differently, has a different skin tone, different mannerisms, and different eye shape.  And like it or not, westerners do not have the best reputation among Koreans when it comes to dating.  She is well aware of the fact that she will stand out when she is with you, and how you act when you are with her will determine whether or not she stands out in a good or bad way.  

My advice is to be honest with her in all circumstances.  Don't pretend that you have all the answers.  When she brings up the future, sometimes it's ok to say, "I don't know," provided you show her that you have ambition, and that you care about her.  Be patient with her.  Again, a man should be a source of comfort, and not a source of unwanted stress, and if she is uncomfortable with going to a particular place, doing a particular thing with you, or taking the next step in your relationship, don't take it personally.  Be patient and understanding.  I realize that a man should be the one who pushes the boundaries in the relationship, but he should not do it in such a way that it will apply to her unwanted pressure and stress in her already stressful life.  

3.  This one is for all you halfies out there.  Times have changed, and through my experiences, I find that we are perceived differently as Korean society has become more modernized.  With that being said, I've yet to get a negative reaction by a Korean lady when I tell them that my mother is Korean.  Moreover, they love it.  

My advice is to use it to your advantage.  You have an advantage over other western men, for two reasons.  The first is that Korean ladies will sort of see you as one of them.   The second reason is you have more insights into their culture, and how Korean women think.  You've probably spent, at the very least, a significant portion of your childhood with at least one Korean woman (your mom), and who you are is indeed an asset, not a source of discrimination.     

4.  This is sort of a continuation of point #2.  If she is attractive by Korean standards and if she is of high character, and if she is with you, she obviously thinks very highly of you.  The less attractive ones will care a little less about public perception, because they are accustomed to being seen in a less positive light (That applies to people in any society).  They will be more willing to take risks to be with a man than a more attractive woman will be, because obviously the attention they receive from members of the opposite sex is less.  The more attractive ones are definitely more likely to take into account all of the factors in point #2, among others, when dating a western man, for the simple and obvious reason that they can afford to be selective.  

My advice is to have fun regardless.  If she is really attractive to Koreans, enjoy the fact that she is into you, but be patient at the same time.  Everybody knows the more attractive ladies require more work, and nothing worth having comes easily.  Korean women will probably test you more than a western lady will, and make you be the pursuer.  Enjoy the chase.  It's fun.    

You've probably noticed a common theme among all of this, which is to be patient. You may have a completely different experience, but based on mine, I can't stress that enough.  This applies to ladies of any society, but it especially applies with Korean ladies who are considering going into a relationship with a man from a different race and culture.   

5.  In a sociology class back at LSU, the professor said numerous times that Asians are the most likely of all the races to marry outside of their race.  Korean women are, no doubt, attracted to western men, but dating them is kind of frowned upon by some who are more traditional.  The more attractive she is, the more they seem to frown.  Don't let that deter you.  At the same time, you may also be seen sort of as a prize.  I have never experienced anything with so many contradictions.  It is an interesting phenomenon, so it is important to be a source of simplicity, and by that, I mean to simply have fun, and don't worry about what other people think.      

6.  Embrace your Americaness/Britishness/Canadianality/South Africaness/Australianality/New Zealandality.  If she wanted to date a Korean, she would be doing just that.  Take her for a ride, give her new experiences, and show her what it is like to be where you are from.  But at the same time, be aware of her culture, and respect it.  A proper balance must be established if you are serious about her.  

7.  If you can, befriend a western girl who dates Korean men, and converse with her about her experiences.  It could prove to be invaluable.  Her experiences can reveal to you how Korean men treat their ladies, which can give you insights into what Korean women expect.  I'm not telling you to act like a Korean man, because sometimes, they do and say things that I would never do, but you may be able to accomplish the same thing in a different way from your western perspective and methods.  

The most important thing is to have fun.  That's what it is all about, and that is what a woman from any society or culture values.  Korean women are classy, enthusiastic, and extremely feminine, so dating them can be an amazing experience, despite the difficulties and complications.  Good luck…  

2 (Stories from Class) + 1 (Random One)

Elaine is a sixth grader that I previously mentioned in the post, A Few Stories from Class.  She is rather intelligent, and since this story was posted, she has leveled up into a more advanced class taught by my coworker, Kezia.  I have since found out that Elaine was born in America, and lived there during her early childhood.  Kezia pointed out that Elaine has sort of a refined demeanor that most of the other students don't have, and that could be attributed to her travels.

When Kezia began teaching Elaine, I told her about how I call her Olivia, and how annoyed she gets.  So later on, Kezia told me about an instance in class where she warned, "Elaine, if you don't answer this question correctly, I will start calling you Olivia..."

She responded emphatically in a Korean accent, "I am not OLIVIA!!  CHRIS TEACHER TELL YOU BAD THING!!  CHRIS TEACHER TELL YOU BAD THING!!"

And sure enough, upon seeing her in the hall after that class, I greeted her as I always do, "Hey Olivia-- I mean Elaine." 

"Teacher, YOU TELL KEJJIA TEACHER BAD THING!!!"

"Sorry, Olivia-- I mean Elaine."

"I am not OLIVIA!!"

Joss is a second grader in one of my lower level classes.  There's no way to describe him except to say that he's a character.  Joss has a sly smile, and sometimes he can be difficult to contain, but nevertheless, he is a pleasant student to teach.  Kezia previously taught his class, and recently, teaching duties for it were turned over to me.

We give bimonthly speaking tests, and for the general speaking portion, we normally ask the lower levels questions such as, "What is your favorite...?"

And an answer that would receive full credit, without prompting, would be, "My favorite ... is ..."

Kezia warned me that if you give Joss the question, "What is your favorite animal?"  It would be guaranteed that he would answer it with, "My favorite animal is snake!"

When it came time for tests, I randomly chose general speaking questions for students, and it just so happened that Joss drew "favorite animal."

When it was his turn, I briefly greeted him, "Hey Joss, how are you?"

He looked at me, flashed his sly smile, and confidently stated in a Korean accent, "I'm fine, thank you!"

I set my timer, as students have thirty seconds to answer the general speaking portion, and I asked him, "Joss, what is your favorite animal?"

His eyes looked up and to the right as he gave a sly grin.  Then he paused.  Fifteen seconds went by without him saying anything.

I prompted him, "Joss, my favorite animal is a tiger."  Students are docked a point when prompting is required.

His eyes lit up, and he flashed his sly smile.  He confidently responded in a Korean accent, "My favorite animal is snake!!!"

I immediately laughed.  

Recharged

At my job, there are normally four of us foreign teachers on staff, but for the last two months we have been short one worker.  Kelsey, Kezia, and I have been covering a class load that is normally covered by four people.  Getting through the day hasn't been that difficult.  While at work, I am normally "in the zone," and all I'm thinking about is teaching.  Being tired, hungry, or thirsty never crosses my mind until I am finished.  While teaching, especially during the last two months, the only thing I really think about consuming is coffee.

Being that the number of classes that we are teaching is higher than normal, during the last two months, we had no breaks during our work time, so eating before work is essential.  I found that I was at my best when eating during preparation time.  We are required to be at work an hour before classes start for that.  A healthy meal enables one to have a more sound mind and body, and thus increasing performance at work.  Eating immediately before the start of class time has been an essential factor in my ability to be at my best when I am "in the zone" throughout the day.

As I stated earlier, normally at work, with the help of coffee, I am only concerned with teaching, so again, I never concern myself with being tired.  I've noticed that the fatigue begins to set in during the weekends.  I've been sleeping a lot more, and my desire to go out to see friends and other things has significantly dropped.  For the last month, my weekends, especially Saturdays, have consisted of me laying in my bed relaxing, ordering delivery, watching downloaded American TV shows, staying in at night, and falling asleep early.  Lately, I've been too tired to concern myself with having a strong social life.  During my time living in Korea, playing music with my friends on the praise team at my church has become sort of become something that I do on the weekends, no matter the circumstance, if I am in town.  That has not been the case these last few weeks because of the fatigue.  I've even been skipping out on that.

I spent this last weekend in Busan, and spending a weekend in a different city remaining anonymous, walking around exploring, and stopping in the occasional coffee shop for a cup and an internet surf is one of my favorite ways to relax and recharge, and my trip this weekend definitely enabled me to do that.  I turned off my phone, and relaxed mentally.

Busan is a coastal city, and it always seems to rain when I visit there.  I wanted to spend the weekend on the beach, but the rain may have been a blessing in disguise.  There is not much that I dislike more than being wet when I don't have to be, so last Sunday, I took the subway to Nampo Dong, found the nearest cafe, ordered what amounted to be a few cups of coffee, and proceeded to watch college football highlights on my computer.  I also spent an hour having a Sunday devotional, since I didn't attend church that day.  Looking out the window, I noticed a small japanese restaurant, and when I felt like it, I walked over, and had a bowl of Japanese ramen.  The rain enabled me to recharge both mentally and physically.  Normally during the weekend excursions, I am recharged mentally, but find myself physically tired.  That wasn't the case with the trip I took this weekend.

I came back to work today feeling good.  We recently hired a new teacher at our school, Natalie.  She just finished her training, and this week we are finally back to our normal class load, breaks and all.  During my break today, I went to the kimbab restaurant downstairs for a bite to eat.  Normally, only one of us foreign teachers at a time are on break, and this case was no different.  I went downstairs with my ipod touch and my set of headphones.  I sat in the restaurant reading a book that I had downloaded to my itunes along with music playing in my headphones while eating my meal.

Over the music, I overheard a group of young Korean girls sitting behind me.  I normally wouldn't have noticed them, but they were being especially loud and enthusiastic, so I looked back to see if they were students that I taught.  As I did so, they all immediately exclaimed in a Korean accent, "Oh!?  Whoa!  Hello!  How are You?!"  It was a group of fifth grade girls that didn't attend my school, eating a normal meal that fifth grade Korean girls would normally sit down and share together at a restaurant such as the one I was patronizing.  The girls were all very cute, and we shared the normal small talk that would be shared between a native English speaking teacher and a group of young students.  Each one of the five seemed to say at a different time, "You are handsome!"

After living in Korea for over a year, that still never gets old.  I responded to each one with, "Thankyou, and you are very pretty!"  As I finished my meal, and walked to the counter to pay for it, I suddenly got the urge to pay for theirs also, and I did.  I would have preferred that he not do what he did, but the man at the counter immediately told the girls that I payed for their meal.  Upon the realization, each one seemed to suddenly exclaim in a Korean accent, "Oh!?  Whoa!!  THANKYOU!!!"  One even said, "I love you!!"  They all made hearts above their heads with their arms as they thanked me.  I left the restaurant blushing, and in a good mood for the rest of the work day, as I proceeded to have one of my best work days in a while.

Observations Regarding Japan

Here are some of my personal observations regarding Japan.  Many are comparisons to Korea.  As an American who lives in Korea, the comparisons are inevitable.  These are merely observations, and are not universal truths, so they must be taken for what they are.  A common theme I come across in comparing the two cultures is that the various tastes and preferences seem to be more diverse in Japan than in Korea.     

1.  Younger Japanese women are more likely to wear traditional clothing in public than younger Korean women.  When walking the streets of Osaka and Kyoto, it was not uncommon to see Japanese women in their twenties wearing Kimonos with their hair fixed up beautifully, and wearing makeup.  The combination of the kimonos, the white socks, and the slippers force them to walk a certain way, taking shorter and lighter steps, while keeping their legs together.  It is very feminine, and very attractive.  Many times, men would be with them in their traditional garb also.  It is quite evident that that particular generation upholds certain traditions, and are unashamed of their identities, which is something to be admired in a world where the east is becoming more western.  The only time I have ever seen a younger Korean woman wear a hanbok is in pictures for a wedding.  It is quite rare to see a young Korean adult wearing one in public on Chusok or Lunar New Year, holidays where one would think that traditional garb would be worn, much less in everyday life.    

2.  There is a definite difference between Koreans and the Japanese in eye shape and facial structures.  Many Japanese people seem to have larger eyes, although many have smaller ones.  More Japanese people seem to have double eye lids than Koreans.  Those with smaller eyes definitely have a shape that is distinctly different from those of Koreans with eyes of a similar size.  Japanese children look distinctly different from Korean children.  Because children are obviously less likely to have plastic surgery, wear makeup, and grow facial hair, the difference in facial structures between the two races seem to be more indicative and telling in them.  Japanese people also have facial expressions that are uniquely Japanese, as Koreans have those that are uniquely Korean.  It is difficult to explain, but contrary to popular belief in the west, all asians definitely do not look the same. 

3.  Japanese people seem quieter.  Before visiting Japan, my Korean friends explained to me that Japanese people are less expressive in public.  I don't know how true this is, but apparently it is bad manners to be overly expressive in public.    Although I did see bursts of laughter by one or two people at a time, I didn't see it from larger groups of people, as you see in most other places.  A lot of women covered their mouths in order to contain their laugher.   

The Japanese language seems to be more rhythmic, and slightly less harsh than Korean.  Japanese consonants seem to be softer sounding, and that may contribute to the quietness.  As a nonspeaker, the Japanese language is very pleasant sounding.  I am not saying Korean is not, as that is a matter of preference.  It is especially pleasant to hear a younger Japanese woman speak.        

4.  Japanese people, as a whole, seem to have a broad taste in music.  While Koreans seem to prefer pop music influenced by hip-hop and r&b, a lot of Japanese people seem to prefer rock music.  Some of the pop music in Japan seems to have more of a rock influence, while almost all of the pop music in Korea is influenced more by r&b.  In Japan, I saw on television a video by Jack White, and another by Oasis, artists that most Koreans have never even heard of, and if they are, they hardly get a mention.  I also saw Lady Gaga, and Justin Beiber, western artists who are also quite popular Korea, on television in here in Japan.  Some japanese music seems to have similar influences to that of most Korean popular music, but there is a broader influence here as well.  It was quite refreshing to hear guitar music in Japan.  There rock music, in particular, seems to be diverse.  K-pop also seems to be popular in Japan.  I've seen numerous Girls' Generation posters, and heard "Fantastic Baby," by Big Bang several times here.  One of my new Japanese friends talked about how his female friends regularly listened to K-pop.  Unlike Korea, people in Japan seem to think more independently in their music preferences, because a larger variety is available for them.

5.  Japanese men seem to be shorter than Korean men.  I felt taller in Japan than I did in Korea.

6.  Significantly less people wear glasses in Japan than in Korea.

7.  My coworker, Kelsey, pointed this one out.  In public, while trash cans are rare in Korea, places to sit, such as benches, are rare in Japan.  At least they are in Osaka and Kyoto.  Maybe more is available in other parts of Japan. 

8.  English is a lot less prevalent in Japan than in Korea.  In Korea, a significant amount of Koreans are able and willing to communicate in English.  In Japan that is not the case.  In Korea, regarding fashion, English is sort of "in."  Most Koreans wear t-shirts with English writing, much of it being misspelled and nonsensical, but nevertheless, funny.  Contrary to what one might think, it is rather hard to find a shirt with Korean writing here in Korea.  Before going home to America, I wanted to find t-shirts for my brothers with something written in Korean, but actually had a hard time finding what I was looking for.  That was not the case in Japan.  English doesn't seem to be "in" there.  

9.  The fashion tastes in Japan are a lot more diverse.  In Korea, generally, the celebrities seem to set the fashion trends, and the general population follows it.  In Japan, the preppy look is in, as is in Korea, but the punk look also seems to be popular.  There were a lot of Japanese men with spiked hair who were going for a rougher look than what one would currently see in most men in Korea.  In Japan, I also saw a lot of nerds,  a lot of men who were into sportswear, and also lot of men who dressed classily conservative.  In terms of women, there seemed to be two general types.  I saw a lot of women who were conservatively elegant.  There were also a lot of women who were more trendy.  In Kyoto, the conservative elegant classy look seemed to be more popular, while in Osaka, fashion tastes were more trendy.  In Osaka, it seemed like most of the ladies had their hair color altered.  There seemed to be a lot more diversity in hair styles and altered hair colors among women in Japan, than among Korean women.  

10.  As a whole, Japanese women were beautiful.  Like Koreans, they cover their mouths when they laugh and/or blush.  Most Japanese women wear blush, while most Korean women don't.  It was summer, so an abundance of Japanese women, like Korean women, were wearing miniskirts and high heels.  I didn't think this was possible, but I noticed that a larger percentage of women in Kyoto and Osaka wear high heels those in Korea.  A lot of Korean women wear tennis shoes with their skirts.  I find it to be a cute fashion trend.  Japanese women, like Korean women, walk under femininely flowery umbrellas in sunny weather in order to protect their preferred fair skin tone.  I thought the women in Kyoto were generally more attractive than those in Osaka, and I still prefer Korean women to Japanese women.

12.  The funnest thing about Japan was eating the food.  The food was so different from anything I had ever tasted.  The only sampling of Japanese cuisine that one would get in America is Americanized sushi, so trying new food was a lot of fun.  To see exactly what I ate, check my Facebook page, or my twitter account.  I have numerous pictures posted.  The goal in Japanese cuisine seems to be to accentuate flavor of the key ingredient.  Japanese food doesn't seem to be heavily seasoned, nor is it spicy.  The goal of Korean cuisine seems to be the exact opposite.  They seem to go for a particular taste in whatever dish they serve, so Korean food is usually heavily seasoned, a lot of it being spicy.  A lot of my food during my time in Japan came from the delis of grocery stores, and convenience stores.  The convenience stores had extensive selections of cooked meals, including noodle dishes, rice dishes, salads, various rolls, and etc.  The delis in the grocery stores had the same things, but they seemed to be of a higher quality.  The grocery stores offered a decent selection of various sushi.  It was both delicious and fresh.  I enjoyed eating in Japan. 

Being an Outsider

I am currently in the middle of a one-week vacation in Japan.   I flew into Kansai International Airport in Osaka on Wednesday, and immediately  took a train to Kyoto.  It is Sunday afternoon, and I am currently in Osaka.  I have been here since Friday, and will be here until Monday morning.  I will then take a train back to Kyoto, and will remain there until the remainder of my trip when I fly out Wednesday.  Thus far, everything has been incredible, and being that I prefer large cities, I thought I would enjoy Osaka more, but the contrary has been the case.   That does not take anything away from Osaka.  It is also an amazing city.  

For the last few years, it has been a dream of mine to visit Japan, and being here has sort of been surreal.  Interacting with the people, eating the food, and experiencing the culture have all been learning experiences.  Back home, and even in Korea, interacting with Japanese people has been a rarity.  Although I have known numerous Koreans throughout my life, I have been around very few Japanese people, so Japan has been a huge source of curiosity.

Upon arriving, I immediately felt like an outsider, and I've never felt that way in Korea.  I arrived in Korea with a strong knowledge of Korean culture.  Although I am not fluent, I've known enough of the language to be polite, and to get what I've needed.   Koreans have many times seemed willing to at least make an effort to speak English during the times that my knowledge of the Korean language has been insufficient.  That is not the case here in Japan.  Japan is sort of like America in that here, they expect foreigners to speak their language, and they rarely speak English here during interactions with them.  Fewer signs and documents are in English, and only on one or two occasions have Japanese people actually spoken English to me.  The only thing that I've been able to say in Japanese is "arigato cojaimas," which means Thank you.  I also know nothing about Japanese manners and customs.  When interacting with older people in Korea, it always seems to be polite to nod, or even bow.  Although they bow and nod in Japan, they don't seem to do so as much, so I have zero knowledge on when and when not to do so.  Having no knowledge of the language and basic etiquette can cause one to immediately feel like an outsider.

In Korea, although I don't look Korean, I have always been fairly familiar with the etiquette and customs, so when Koreans look at me as if I don't belong, I am secure and confident in my identity as a person of Korean descent to know that I do.  I have become quite used to that mentality.  Being here in Japan, I now know how my foreign friends in Korea feel in being exposed to an unfamiliar culture with unfamiliar norms, unfamiliar manners, and unfamiliar customs.  In Korea, I've found myself being rather judgmental of the foreign community for their lack of understanding of Korean culture.  I've now learned to be more sympathetic.

Being in an unfamiliar place, I've learned to remain quiet, smile, observe, then imitate.  

Japanese Ramen has been my favorite dishes here in Japan thus far.  It is nothing like the Ramen in Korea or America.  It is of a much higher quality.  The broth is so much richer and better tasting being that it is homemade, and doesn't come from a packet.  The texture of the noodles seems to be slightly more chewy.  The meat that is added always seems to be of a high quality.  To call it ramen sort of does it an injustice because when people from America or Korea think of Ramen, they immediately think of the store-bought packages.  

Upon arriving in Osaka in Kansai airport, one of the first things that I did was enter the food court for lunch.  Knowing nothing about Japanese cuisine, I chose the first restaurant that I saw, which was one that served Ramen.  The woman greeted me in Japanese, and I was absolutely clueless as to what she was telling me.  I sort of nonverbally informed her that I don't know Japanese, and I immediately smiled in such a way to make light of the situation.  Luckily, the menu had pictures of every dish.  I chose the one that seemed to have the highest amount of meat per price, so continuing to smile, I gently pointed to the picture of the dish that I wanted to order.  She smiled back, and spoke softly, as Japanese people seem to always do, telling me what seemed to be the price, the instructions of where to eat the food, and what to do with my dishes once finished.  

Some of my Korean friends told me that Japanese table manners are slightly different, so I was rather self conscious. I immediately began to observe how other people around me were eating.  I noticed that they were loudly slurping when eating their noodles.  I began do so also, and was quite pleased to remain oblivious to all the others eating.  The broth in the soup was amazing, and one of the best broths that I have ever eaten.  I wanted to consume every bit of it, and the spoon was a rather uncomfortable tool.  Once again, I looked up to observe.  I noticed people were drinking straight from the bowls.  I immediately began to do so, and was once again happy to remain oblivious.  

Although initially being exposed to an unfamiliar culture, I have found that in any culture, it is always polite to remain quiet, and warmly smile frequently in interactions.  And when in doubt, observe others around you to see what they do, and imitate.  And even when I have been incorrect, I have found that people are less likely to be agitated when I am quiet and pleasant.